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    Reviews
    Trying to figure out which cd to buy? Which movie to go see?  Which (insert something else) to (do whatever you do with)?  Let our crack team of reviewers tell YOU what's good.

    Youth in Revolt E-mail
    Reviews - Film/TV
    Written by Matt Hensley   
    Friday, 19 February 2010 22:58

    To start, let me say that I haven't read the book. Some people read the book. Those people might like or dislike the movie differently based on how they feel about the book. A more accurate description is that once I read the first part of the book, but it didn't appeal to me because I wasn't in high school.

    I'm still not in high school, but I did watch the movie. I like Michael Cera. I want him to be the next Tom Hanks. And I also want him to beat the fuck out of Shia Laboeuf, because they seem to all be fighting for the same roles.

    I also knew what I was getting into. Michael Cera has what we call a "limited range" of acting ability. I've seen him in a few movies. The worst of which was Juno. I guess the best one was Superbad.

    Anyway, this movie was totally fine. I don't know who liked it and who didn't, and once there are some more arguments, I'll address them.

    In summary, I'm tired because I spent all day thinking about remodeling my bathroom and then I went disc golfing before watching the movie.

    The movie gets a high B.

    44 Posts to go....

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    Review: LMFAO E-mail
    Reviews - Music
    Written by Big   
    Friday, 19 February 2010 01:24

    LMFAO, its Dr Yahweh, 3 years later and every song is Spoon This Bitch. They even stole the fucking Robot! You guys really should have done the Tailgaters gig this could be you.

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    Avatar E-mail
    Reviews - Film/TV
    Written by Matt Hensley   
    Thursday, 11 February 2010 22:08

    Maybe I'm a month or so late on this, but I just saw Avatar. I wasn't trying to not see it, but things kept coming up and I just didn't care enough to make the effort (and drop the dollas), and I almost missed it. But then I realized that seeing it in any format other than the big screen in 3-d would defeat the purpose anyway, so I went two days ago.

    I think the best way to review it is to sum up the arguments for and against it and weigh my thoughts on each of them.

    Arguments for:

    • Looks awesome- have to concur. nobody has done 3-d that way or that well, and seamless cgi with live action. I think it is hands down the best visual effects movie to date.

    That's basically the main argument for the movie. Nobody is saying the acting or plot is groundbreaking (see arguments against), but we can all agree that it was a sweet visual experience.

    Arguments against:

    • Plot was a recycle of fern gully, dances with wolves, and pocahontas- Yeah, thats kind of true. But harry potter is lord of the rings is star wars. This may just be another one of the great american stories- white folk fuck some shit up, and in the process some of them identify with the victims and fight with them. its a feel good story for us white folk who have been doing that kind of stuff for centuries
    • too long/boring- eh, the visuals and action shots made it worth the length
    • bad acting- yeah, some of the acting wasn't great. i think this can be summed up by the G.I Joe general guy.

    In summary, I actually liked it quite a bit. There are a lot of different types of movies out there, and this was a great example of a blockbuster/effects extravaganza that wasn't mindless or screen chewing (see Transformers). Action movies could take a cue from the attention to detail.

    And sure, the visual effects outweighed the plot by a wide margin. But this was some pioneering technology. Someone is going to now take it, and do something crazy awesome with it and probably make the best movies ever made.

    So, surprisingly, I give Avatar an A-. On a scale of a normal grading system. Where A's are kind of common, but you gotta earn em...

    By the way, I have plans to watch a lot of movies in the coming weeks, so I'll be sure to review all of them to get a lot of posts in. That is all.

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    Back to the grind E-mail
    Reviews - Film/TV
    Written by Matt Hensley   
    Sunday, 07 February 2010 20:58

    Like you, I just finished watching the first episode of "Undercover Boss". The President of MY garbage company (Waste Management), spent a week doing menial garbage jobs and learning about what its like to be a poor garbage worker.

    It was heart-worming. (side note: this is a funny way to say heart-warming). He really learned a lot about some people with some mental/physical problems and how shitty their jobs are.

    End result:

    Wait a minute, all of these productivity initiatives I've been enacting makes these people's lives worse.

    They decided not to show the part that happened after this when he talked to the board and realized:

    Wait a minute, I enacted these productivity initiatives to make MY life better. By making me more money.

    So what is a guy supposed to do? Of course, his solution (gotta solve these problems!) was to talk to the people in middle management positions and have them change the things that were making it hard for the entry level folk. I guess we're also to believe that he repealed some of his productivity measures? Or did he put the middle management in the impossible position of having to increase morale and productivity at the same time?

    Middle management seems like the absolute shittiest thing in the world. You don't deal with anything tangible, you have people above you who physically cannot see the actual work being done as anything other than money made/lost and people beneath you who you have to deal with, as people, in real world scenarios. You end up looking like the bad guy no matter what happens. And yes, I actually feel bad for Michael Scott sometimes.

    So here is my summary of this (and all upcoming) episodes of Undercover Boss:

    Boss is a nice guy, not some monster who doesn't care about the "people". Meets some people, is no good at their work and learns not only that the actual "work" of his company sucks, but that adults who work minimum wage jobs generally have a lot of unpleasant shit going on in their lives. Feels bad. Makes middle management look like the bad guys for trying to find ways to cut costs. Makes a big speech, forms some "committees" to look into a few public relations friendly problems and scolds the middle management for whatever they had done.

    I'm against it, because it attempts to make people feel better about some real problems with the American work system without actually changing much of anything for the better.

    I'm still sticking with my garbage company though.

    (Just got back from snowshoeing, friday and saturday's posts will be coming this week)

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    Lost Premiere Play-by-play: first hour (major spoilers probably) E-mail
    Reviews - Other
    Written by Matt Hensley   
    Tuesday, 02 February 2010 22:00

    We are 1 minute away from the premiere of the last season of Lost. And not having ever seen an episode, or the 1 hour recap that is just ending, I feel I am the perfect candidate to review that episode. And by review, I mean give a scene by scene recap of everything that happens from the outsiders perspective.

    Previously on lost: I'm ignoring this part because it will ruin my objectivity.....except the part where the well lady blows up the time bomb. Thats where I start.....

    It all starts on a plane. An ordinary plane, that probably won't crash into the middle of some island. Oh wait, the plane is getting shaky. REAL shaky. I think the pilot is LOST! Is that how the show got its name? Now the main guy is going to the bathroom. His neck is bleeding. Is this season about vampires? No, false alarm.

    Meanwhile, beneath the plane, under the ocean, there are a bunch of houses? And a shark. And a giant statue of a foot.

    LOST: the titles come up. Yes, I am.

    Now we're dropping the time bomb into the well. I know whats going to happen here so I don't need to watch it again. The lady falls in and hits the bomb and everything goes white. This is the third time I've seen this scene in 13 minutes. Its going to be a long two hours.....(note: don't expect me to review both hours).

    Now a lady is in a tree. Hugging it, HARD. But how did she get up there? She doesn't know.I bet she was chased up by polar bears? Aren't there polar bears on this show?

    She meets another guy who knows her and they realize something that I don't understand. People are sleeping on the ground all bloody. Nobody knows anything. Plane guy gets kicked in the face by angry guy. Apparently they were wrong about the time bomb and the well and what it would do.

    Now we're back on the plane. More characters from that last scene are on it. I don't think it bodes well for this plane. I've seen some of these guys in commercials for Lost. Fat guy says he's the luckiest guy alive. How does he stay so fat? Haven't they been on the island for like 6 years?

    Now fat guy is lying on the ground all bloody like everyone else. Wait, now the well lady might be alive beneath some metal stuff. But another guy is dying. God takes one life and brings another lady back. Or maybe they'll both live. God is funny like that.

    Some evil-looking guy who isn't all bloody just surprised the fat guy!

    And we're on the plane again. Everyone is talking about the plane crashing. Foreshadowing? Now, back in the past/future/island. A guy with a bloody knife cuts a red piece of cloth. An asian guy stares at a fire. Wait, on closer look, that guy is not asian at all. I think these guys just fought to the death.

    Is that the mayor from the Dark Knight? I think he's about to get stabbed by the guy who looks like Creed from the office. Wait, that guy is dead.What?

    Time to dig the well lady out of the metal. Fat guy is talking to the invisible guy by the van. Invisible guy is spilling the beans about some place where they can save some guy. The invisible guy is Jacob. Is that a surprise? I don't know which parts of this to be shocked at.

    Ok we're on the plane again. Main guy is a doctor, and found one of the guys from Lord of the Rings passed out in the bathroom. Better stick your hand down his throat and pull out....a used condom?

    They're going to pull the well lady out with the old van. How did a van get on the island? And a bicycle? Well good news, the well lady is alive. Also, this guy got shot and is bleeding to death. Better go to the temple.

    Creed is still dead. Batman mayor is confused. Creed is also alive, inside the temple. What? Machine gun guy kills him anyway, with a machine gun. Well, he disappears anyway. Close enough to death for me.

    SMOKE MONSTER?!?!?! HOLY SHIT. Grabs a guy, pulls him through a skylight! Grabs another guy and dumps him in the fire? Machine gun guy scares away the smoke monster. What in the fuck just happened? And now, Creed is back. CREED IS THE SMOKE MONSTER!

    Well lady is still crushed by metal. But rescued by the beefy guy. She has a surprising secret, but instead she dies. Typical. The onlookers are sad. Beefy guy gives plane guy a death stare. Plane guy is on the plane again, and Pippin is getting taken away in handcuffs. The plane is starting to land, I guess I was wrong about this being a plane crash. Everyone is packing up their shit. The plane is landing. The plane is landed. Police come to arrest Pippin. Everyone gets off the plane in slow motion.

     

     

     

     

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