"Keep Portland Weird"

I've been hearing and seeing that slogan a lot lately. Never did I realize that Portland's weirdness was endangered, nor did I ever really think it to be that "weird" of a place. This would hugely in part to the fact that I've never actually been out in the city. I've been to the Roseland Theater, the Crystal Ballroom, and the airport. Oh, and I saw Demitri Martin at some classy theater, once, and had a crappy martini that looked like it came in a kids' meal. But I digress... Last Friday I FINALLY got the chance to experience Portland, OR, for more than it's concert venues and international airport (what does "PDX" stand for, anyway??).

The day/ night was a blast! We went to a Buffalo Wild Wings (I thought it was Dave & Buster's, at first, and almost cried when I saw no games), then several downtown bars - the Whiskey Bar being my personal favorite (free pool and cheap, good, drinks? Hell ya!). It was just fun walking around to all the different places, all of which were in short distance to the next. i even rode public transportation (something I've only done in downtown Sydney, Australia). And it was on that transit that Portland got weird...

There was an interesting young lady (with lots of stories to tell) that was offering some instructions for us to get back to the airport. She even hopped off with us, to make sure that we caught the correct connection - how nice. Unfortunately, though, there wasn't another train to PDX and we were stranded at the rose quarter. Oh, and the young woman's name? Jonathan! And boy did lady Jonathan love my friend Wil (he only spells is with one "L")! Now I'm all for accepting others, but if you're going to be a lady from now on, could you please not go by "Jonathan?" It's weird. Especially when one of my friends announces to me and the woman with the bulge also responds to the call. How about Joanna? Or Jonna (is that a real name)? Or Jonathina, even?? I wonder if when she lays with someone (biblically speaking, of course), and if it gets a little kinky, she says "SAY MY NAME, BITCH! CALL ME JONATHAN!!".... I actually kind of hope so...

All-in-all, I had a blast in Portland. It's not that it's a weird city, but it's got personality. Each bar we went to had an aura of its own and the each street seemed different from the others. So, I stand in support of the slogan. And I give my solute to lady Jonathan, for he/ she is more than doing his/ her part to keep Portland, OR the monument that it is!