A lot of talk has been going around lately about the use of the word "retarded" as an insult. As a youth, I once engaged in a (losing) battle with a teacher who suggested that this was an offensive use of the word, because it gives a negative connotation to those who are medically "mentally retarded" (which I think now is a pretty un-PC way to say it). I find myself in a tricky spot, being someone who finds humor in offensiveness and believes that we shouldn't be offended by words, but at the same time being a PC liberal.

I never think that it is a good idea to use the N-word, in any company. I have laughed at other peoples use of it in comedic situations, but in every instance that I can recall it is being used to mock those who might use the word earnestly. The basic premise of this stays true for terms offensive to other races and minorities. We don't generalize about people of races because science has generally rendered classifications based on race unfounded and inaccurate, and it makes us all look bad if we subscribe to these ideas.

I remember in early high school realizing that "gay" was not an appropriate insult. First because most uses of it were in no way relating to something that could have a sexual preference, and second because I feel no negative emotions towards the homosexual population and thus don't associate other things I don't like with them.

These things all make sense to me. And before I step into this next (potentially offensive) section, let me say that I want this to be an open dialog. Lets try and work through this together.

We can rule this whole conversation out by maybe agreeing that we shouldn't insult anyone. I don't think this is possible. I want to insult some people, and I want to do it in a way that doesn't consequentially insult others beyond the scope of that. Now lets say that someone does something that shows less intelligence than should be expected of them. What word is appropriate to insult them? I wouldn't say anything referring to their race, because we all know intelligence varies greatly among all of the so-called "races". I wouldn't say that they were "gay" because that doesn't make any sense anyway. I might then say that the person was being: stupid, dumb, retarded, an idiot, etc.

To my knowledge, people tend to react poorly to the word "retarded" as an insult more than any of these others. Why? My guess is that this is because there is a group of people out there who have already been branded as "retarded" due to birth defects, brain traumas, etc, and that by using the word in the case where I'm referring to a mistake or stupid thing that someone does, I bring a negative connotation to the entire group who cannot control their situation. My argument in high school was that yes, but I am literally referring to the idea that to say/do whatever they did, the person was acting like they were mentally slow. Factually, my word was correctly used (unlike "gay). And the conversation sort of reached a standstill around that point. I have gone on using the word to this day. I have used it interchangeably with the other "dummy" words (stupid, dumb, idiot), etc. and I guess I'm thinking now the difference is that we've moved on from using those words to actually refer to the mentally handicapped.  This leaves them open to only being insults, free for me to sling at my friends when they break a vase or do something otherwise un-intelligent.

Anyway I'm rambling and not making a lot more points. I guess in summary, I'm coming around on the idea that it might not be prudent to use the "r-word" as an insult. It's unfair to the mentally handicapped for me to group in with them people with supposedly normally functioning brains who just are using them poorly or for unfortunate thoughts/purposes. I do need help coming up with a new word to use though. Fuckhead works.